Overall, the American Psychological Association estimates about 20-40% of divorces are due to infidelity. The breach of trust and the dissolution of a once-committed relationship can leave lasting wounds. Nevertheless, it is possible to find healing and forge a path after divorce towards a positive future.
To begin, I’d like to share some eye-opening facts on infidelity:
· Infidelity is one of the top 10 reasons for divorce, accounting for 11% of cases.
· Women who are completely dependent on their husbands financially are 50% more likely to cheat than women who work.
· The overall rate of infidelity among married women has increased by 40% since 1990.
· People with a college degree are 10% less likely to cheat on their spouse.
· Emotional affairs are becoming even more prevalent, accounting for about 45% of infidelity cases.
· Men aged 35 to 44 are three times more likely to commit adultery than women in the same age group.
· 36% of people cheat with a coworker.
· 14% of women and 19% of men have cheated while attending a work conference.
· About 22% of men and 14% of women admitted to having sexual relations outside their marriage while still married.
· 10% of affairs begin online and 40% of these online relationships turn into real-life affairs.
· Couples who met online have a higher likelihood of being involved in infidelity compared to couples who met offline.
· 35% of people who cheat on their partners also report feeling guilty about their infidelity.
· The primary reasons cited for infidelity were lack of love (44%), variety in sexual partners (44%), neglect (32%), and lack of appreciation or need for attention (31%).
Now that I’ve shared some interesting facts about divorce and infidelity, we need to move on to the most important part – divorce healing from infidelity. Recovering from a marriage marred by infidelity can be an overwhelming and deeply emotional journey. Here are some questions to help you in your journey of healing.
Will you allow yourself to feel your emotions?
It is important to acknowledge and accept your feelings, no matter how difficult they may be. Emotions such as anger, sadness, and betrayal are all normal after a divorce. It is essential to process them in a healthy way. Try to find a healthy outlet such as talking to a therapist, journaling, or confiding in a trusted friend. It is important to give yourself the space and time to heal. journaling, or confiding in a trusted friend. Granting yourself the necessary time and space to heal is of utmost importance.
Will you take care of yourself:
Divorce can be a stressful and exhausting process. It is essential to take care of yourself both physically and mentally. Getting enough sleep, eating well, and engaging in activities that make you feel good can help you cope better. Exercise is also an excellent way to release stress and boost your mood. Remember to make time for yourself to relax and recharge.
Will you avoid contact with your ex-spouse?
It may be challenging to avoid contact with your ex-spouse, but it is essential to give yourself time and space to heal. Until you are ready to face them again, limit communication to matters that are essential, such as co-parenting arrangements. It is important to prioritize your healing process.
Will you find a support system?
Having a support system can make a big difference in your healing process. Reach out to friends, family members, or a support group for people who have gone through a divorce. Talking to people who have gone through a similar experience can be helpful. It is important to surround yourself with people who support and uplift you.
Will you concentrate on self-improvement?
Divorce can be an opportunity for growth and self-improvement. Consider taking up a new hobby, pursuing a career goal, or focusing on self-care. This can help you build confidence and regain a sense of purpose in your life. By focusing on yourself, you can turn this experience into a positive one.
Will you forgive yourself and your ex-spouse?
Forgiveness can be a challenging process, but it is an essential step in healing. Forgiving yourself and your ex-spouse can help you move on from the past and focus on the future. It doesn’t mean forgetting what happened, but it means choosing to let go of the anger and resentment. Forgiveness is a gift to yourself, not to your ex-spouse. It frees you from the ugly feelings trapped in your head and heart.
Will you seek out a skilled professional to help?
When you find that any of these suggestions seem out of your reach, seek out a professional divorce coach who has experience in this area. You will be able to do work in all of these areas to move past the pain and resentment to live a healthier and happier life.
Will you journal?
Journaling is a great way to process your thoughts and feelings about your divorce, the infidelity, your ex and yourself. It helps you to open up your mind and heart to the truth in a private manner. You will be able to learn things about yourself and the situation that you didn’t know. It is a strong tool for healing.
Healing from a marriage with infidelity is a long and challenging process. Remember that healing takes time, and it is important to be patient and gentle with yourself. With the right support and mindset, you can recover from a marriage with infidelity and move on to a brighter future. By focusing on yourself, finding a support system, and taking care of yourself. Among other things mentioned above, you can start the process of healing and move forward with your life.
Statistics source: https://blog.gitnux.com/divorce-after-infidelity-statistics/
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Beverly Price, certified Divorce, Pre-Mediation, and Empowerment coach, and podcast host, combines divorce and empowerment coaching to provide emotional relief, knowledge of the divorce processes, skill building, and support to guide women along the entire divorce process, and to conquer its emotional, technical, financial and logistical challenges. She has helped hundreds of women over her 25 years experience.
She has a personal history with divorce, co-parenting, domestic violence and more. Combining this personal experience with her training, professional certifications and business knowledge, she can help women by supporting them along their journey, helping them to work through emotions, dealing with the challenges of co-parenting, improving communication, and empowering them to find their inner strength.
When she embraced her authentic voice and her own power, she went from self-doubt to self-love – and that is what she wants for her clients. It is possible! You can learn more at herempowereddivorce.com
