Part 1: EMOTIONAL READINESS  OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE VICTIMS FOR COURT. EP 106 

HOST: Beverly Price, Divorce & Empowerment Coach 

GUEST: Joni Jones and Lawrence Jones, Experts in Domestic Violence

There is a lot of trauma, shame, and mixed emotional response that comes with domestic violence, and emotional and legal readiness for court is paramount for domestic violence victims seeking justice and protection. Being ready to accept domestic violence, whether emotional or physical, as abuse is key to confronting trauma, guilt, shame, and anxiety associated with court proceedings. In this episode of Her Empowered Divorce, your Host, Beverly Price, talks to Joni Jones and Lawrence Jones, experts on both the emotional and legal aspects of domestic violence. Together, they discuss the emotional readiness of domestic violence victims for court to provide you with the tools you need to emotionally and legally advocate for yourself and get the protection and justice you deserve. Do not condone domestic violence by your silence. 

Divorce doesn’t have to be a death sentence. With the right support and guidance, you can move through the process with knowledge, skills, and confidence. If you’d like to schedule a complimentary private consultation, reach out to Beverly at: https://beverly-price.as.me/Consultation. 

Visit https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/her-empowered-divorce/id1635143315 to access the entire archive of Her Empowered Divorce episodes, and while you’re there, please subscribe, rate, and review our show! 

KEY TAKEAWAYS: 

• Why didn’t you just leave if you were being abused? This question often demonstrates a real misunderstanding of domestic violence; people are not always in a position to leave.

• The gaslighting effect is very prominent in domestic violence, and often, things don’t get better even when we stay hoping they would; these situations don’t fix themselves and often escalate into a cycle of domestic violence.

• The top form of domestic violence is not physical or assault; it is harassment. You can be abused without being laid a hand on, such as through threats, cyber harassment, or posting embarrassing things online. This is far more traumatizing than physical.

• Whether the domestic violence is physical or emotional, emotional readiness is recognizing and accepting it as abuse without making excuses for chronically abusive behaviors by an abusive partner. 

NOTABLE QUOTES:

• Everybody has individual emotional responses, but there are so many mixed emotions when you’re going through domestic violence. You can feel confused, lost, and anxious, which can be stifling and traumatizing. (Joni) 

• Victims of domestic violence are not always in a position to leave because there could be children involved, financial dependency, fear, and emotional shame. There could be legitimate reasons why somebody stays in an abusive relationship even when they know it’s unhealthy for them. (Lawrence) 

• Sometimes, when victims of domestic violence stay and hope things will get better, the other side can use that against them in court with the myth that “If I were a bad person, they would have walked out” to justify themselves. (Lawrence) 

• If you are a product of domestic violence as a child, you could adopt that as the norm because that is what you have been shown and grown up in. (Joni) 

• A lot of people feel like they are staying in a relationship for their children because they think they are providing stability for the children, but often, they also end up being victimized. (Joni) 

• Children, even if they are not the target of domestic violence, just growing up seeing parenting domestic violence heightens the risk of becoming victims or abusers themselves. (Lawrence) 

ABOUT OUR GUEST: 

Lawrence R. Jones

Lawrence R. Jones retired from the New Jersey Judiciary in 2017 after serving the public as a Superior Court Judge. During his time on the Bench, he served as the President of the New Jersey Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges and authored over 60 opinions on novel issues of law, including significant published and unpublished opinions on issues of domestic violence and dating violence (IPV). Judge Jones also served as a member of the faculty of New Jersey’s Judicial College and was the creator and co-presenter of the Judiciary’s 2016 program, “Harassment: Drawing the Line between Domestic Disagreements and Domestic Violence.

In 2020, Professor Jones was one of the featured speakers at the New Jersey State Bar Association’s presentation on “Economic Abuse as a Form of Domestic Violence.” During National Domestic Violence Awareness Month 2022, he appeared as a guest speaker on the television program New Mexico in Focus, presenting on issues concerning domestic abuse and legal/social aspects of Congress’s reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA 2022). In 2022, the New Mexico Supreme Court appointed Jones as the Vice Chair of the statewide Commission on Alternative Dispute Resolution. 

Jones is also a certified economic mediator in New Jersey in matters with active restraining orders in place. He presently practices mediation and dispute resolution and now resides with his wife in Albuquerque, New Mexico, where he will be teaching at the University of New Mexico this fall.

JONI JONES 

JONI JONES is a registered nurse, board certified in psychiatric and mental health nursing, who retired from the New Jersey Board of Nursing. In 2013, Joni was the recipient of the Elizabeth Kellogg’s Award for Excellence in 5 Nursing. Joni presents extensively on various social issues, including mental health, domestic violence, and children with autism spectrum disorder. 

Joni is one of the original founders of Parents of Autistic Children (POAC) and has presented before the Autism Society of America and the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts on autism-related issues. She is also a former certified developmental disabilities nurse. From 2002-to 2009, Joni worked with multiple major league baseball teams to create the first-ever "Autism Awareness Day" games hosted by the New York Yankees (the Florida Marlins, the Pittsburgh Pirates, and the (then) Montreal Expos. She was previously a certified instructor in Mental Health First Aid, has authored numerous published articles on mental health-related issues, and received a New Jersey certification in crisis intervention.

Joni is the co-author of “10 Basic Principles of Cultural Competency (BCPP): A Starting Point for New Mediators”, which was presented at the 2021 Academy of Professional Mediators program on Mediation and Autism Spectrum Disorder and at the 2021 New Jersey Association of Professional Mediators’ inaugural forum on cultural competency. She is also the author of a new children’s book, “The Invisible Hurt,” which addresses the relationship between a young child and a parent with mental health challenges. Joni recently relocated with her family to Albuquerque, New Mexico, and has been appointed to U.S. Senator Ben Ray Lujan’s Mental Health Consortium.

FOLLOW OUR GUEST: 

Lawrence Jones and Joni Jones

Link to Guests’ recent TV appearance on New Mexico in Focus, discussing issues relating to domestic violence (October 6, 2022): https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=wUQY7Gqv3FA

Point C video on YouTube: htps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4eNVDtGdTs

Link to the Point C Website: www.pointcdivorce.com

ABOUT YOUR HOST: 

Beverly Prices is the empowering divorce coach who guides women on their journey before, during, and after divorce to eliminate pain, overwhelm, sadness, and anger and create more knowledge, skill, and peace that she experienced herself.

CONTACT YOUR HOST: 

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Email: beverly@herempowereddivorce.com

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