When parties appear in divorce court, judges face the challenging task of sorting out complex issues, including who is telling the truth and whether one party needs protection. One of the most crucial factors in a divorce case is credibility. Judges are more inclined to believe and side with those who present themselves as trustworthy, making it essential to be truthful and cooperative throughout the process.
This is where working with a divorce coach can make a significant difference. A divorce coach not only provides emotional support but also helps clients develop strategies for maintaining credibility and improving communication to achieve better results.
The Impact of Bad Behavior on Divorce Outcomes
If one party is engaging in financial abuse, using children as pawns, withholding parenting time, refusing to pay bills, hiding assets, or displaying any form of domestic violence or substance abuse, the court will intervene. Judges take an active role in addressing behaviors that disrupt the equitable distribution of assets, child custody decisions, and financial support. Their goal is to prevent unfairness and protect the parties involved, especially if one is perceived as a victim.
When a judge identifies one person as a “victim” and the other as an “abuser,” the court’s focus shifts toward protecting the victim. This often leads to the abuser facing consequences like reduced financial support during the case or being ordered to pay interim attorney fees. This isn’t just based on income disparities, but also because the abuser’s behavior adds unnecessary work for everyone involved, including legal teams.
How “Trouble Makers” Are Treated in Court
Judges have little patience for those who constantly push boundaries, violate rules, or engage in disruptive behavior. When one party is seen as a “trouble maker,” their requests may not receive as much consideration. A judge may feel compelled to teach a lesson to someone who is repeatedly challenging the court’s authority. This can result in decisions that favor the more cooperative party, even in situations where the facts are unclear.
In divorce cases, subtle perceptions matter. A person seen as honest and compliant will likely receive more favorable rulings. Judges, like all people, are influenced by human emotions, and bullying, lying, and manipulation tend to provoke negative reactions. While these consequences aren’t always visible, they can have a long-lasting impact on the outcome of your case.
How a Divorce Coach Can Help Improve Your Credibility
A divorce coach plays a critical role in helping you maintain credibility throughout your divorce process. Here’s how:
- Strategic Preparation: A divorce coach can help you understand how your actions, behavior, and words are perceived by the court. By helping you stay calm and composed, they ensure you make positive first impressions and stay consistent in your communication, which boosts your credibility.
- Guiding Emotional Responses: Divorces are emotionally charged, and this can lead to impulsive reactions. A coach helps you process those emotions privately, so you don’t allow them to derail your case. By learning to manage emotional responses, you prevent being seen as erratic or difficult in court.
- Improving Communication Skills: A key part of a coach’s role is to enhance your communication skills. They help you express yourself more clearly, avoid unnecessary conflict, and communicate your needs assertively but respectfully—both with your attorney and the court. When you’re able to communicate effectively, you’re more likely to achieve favorable outcomes.
- Developing a Legal Strategy: Working closely with your legal team, a divorce coach ensures you understand what’s expected of you and helps you develop strategies to avoid behaviors that could damage your credibility. They help you think critically about your actions and decisions and provide guidance on how to stay on track with the legal process.
The Importance of First Impressions
First impressions are powerful, especially in divorce court. They often shape how a judge views you throughout the proceedings. While going through a divorce is an emotional and life-altering event, it’s essential to remain as calm and composed as possible. Presenting yourself in a positive light—truthful, respectful, and cooperative—can lead to better outcomes, not just in court, but in your post-divorce life.
Improving Communication for Better Results
Effective communication is one of the most overlooked aspects of the divorce process. Whether you’re interacting with your attorney, the opposing party, or the judge, how you communicate can significantly impact the trajectory of your case. A divorce coach helps you refine your communication so that you stay focused on your goals rather than being drawn into unnecessary conflict or emotion-driven arguments. By working with a coach, you’ll learn how to:
- Respond instead of react
- Stay calm and composed in emotionally charged situations
- Avoid escalating conflicts, especially in front of your children or the court
- Express your needs clearly and assertively without seeming combative
- Build a cooperative relationship with your ex (if possible), which is especially important if you share children
When communication is improved, judges are more likely to see you as cooperative and level-headed, which can positively influence the outcome of your case.
Closing Thoughts
In the midst of a stressful and emotional divorce, it can be difficult to stay grounded. However, maintaining credibility, complying with court rules, and demonstrating a willingness to cooperate can significantly improve your experience in court. A divorce coach can be an invaluable resource during this process, helping you refine your communication, manage your emotions, and present yourself as someone the court will respect and believe.
By working with a divorce coach, you’ll be better equipped to navigate the complexities of divorce and set yourself up for long-term success.
Beverly Price is a Certified Divorce Coach (CDC) and founder of Her Empowered Divorce. She helps women navigate the complexities of divorce with confidence and empowerment, focusing on communication and emotional resilience to achieve the best possible outcomes.
If you found this blog helpful and need further assistance with your divorce journey, please feel free to Talk to Beverly for personalized coaching and support.
